May 11th - Another blank page

I just looked in my diary for today May 11th….another blank page! Monday is usually my busiest, longest work day, but not today! If it had been a last minute cancelled plan, a day off for a bank holiday I would have been so delighted. I would have filled it with so much…caught up on jobs, seen the family, indulged in day time television (if the weather was bad)… gone out for coffee. But not today! Another blank page when I get to choose what to do, not dictated to by deadlines or the expectations of others. Why is it so hard? And why am I so exhausted and so unmotivated?

The writer of Ecclesiastes says, “there is a time for for everything.” Really I ask? Is there a time to be grumpy, frustrated, exhausted by lack of activity; bored but not wanting to do anything; irritated when you know in your head you are truly blessed and should be grateful.

Last week Des talked about Jesus being the Good Shepherd so I must be a sheep…needing all that the shepherd offers a sheep. Matthew says, “When Jesus saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.”

I think looking at my diary’s blank page, in my sheepness, I wandered off and lost sight of the shepherd. But it’s okay - he hasn’t forgotten about his errant sheep…here he is…looking for me. - Liz